Tongues

Everyone's having a merry time and I'm sitting out tabulating my thoughts. I'm not quite sure if it's my moodswings affecting my clear or if it's truly what I'm feeling. It's starting to settle a little but I'm pushing it above barely sustaining it's weight. During moments like these, my mind feels low, mellow and monotoned. I want to believe in my decisions, to have confidence but my animosities are getting in the way.

It feels like nothing is ever settled even after so much time. Am I truly contended with what I have? Am I ever going to see the greater good in everything and everyone? My emotions feel still, my toes clinging onto the chair as I hear chatter turn to muffles everywhere. The fan lashing breaths of winds in my face don't seem to bother me anymore. All I need is something, something to clear my mind.

To keep my spirits up.
To tell me that I'm doing the right thing.
That retracing should never be done.


One step, maybe two.
?
Remember.

I'm pushing it all aside. I think I'm getting pretty good at it.


D.